Huffington Post editors have featured several entries on the front page (in a box like the one above) &ndash August: Joe & Dub's Fabulous Wedding, SUBIRAQIAN HOMESICK BLUES, Goys Gone Wild, Job ideas for Joe Lieberman, A Right-Winger Reads the NY Times; September: JOE BUSH a.k.a. The Monstrous Morph!, NEW PARIS HILTON SEX TAPE (and the Iraq war), Live from the Oval Office, Muslims Hate Jesus; October: Eat At CHENEY'S Diner, Trick-or-Treating at the Foley House, YMCA, Help Hastert Hide the Perv!, Mark Foley Sex Tape, Bush Consults Priests in GOP Page Abuse Scandal, Mark Foley Sung by Norm Augustinus, BONE THE PAGE, Are you man enough for her? &ndash and each one has shot straight up the list, while other entries wait politely for contagion to smile on them.

Now I feel a little stupid.  You have to hand it to them – I dared them to put this up and they did.  And of course I didn't read the rules – they were in that "lawyer" font that gives me a headache, and I assumed the rules just insulated them from any stupid actions I might take.

After reading it, I can see that Rule #9 does allow the front page promotions – in fact they could run an ad for one of the entries at the Super Bowl if they wanted to.

And I'm ashamed to admit that the part about making "something appealing and promotable" was probably written with boring entries just like this in mind.

Some people might be bitter and discouraged – and despair of figuring out how to make something appealing enough to get the front page promotion that will give their entry Plague-like virility – but not me.

I'm going to study entries that make the front page, and keep improving this until it's so appealing that AOL / Time Warner slaps ads for it across the bottom of every TV channel they own – ads so appealing that when channel-surfing Fox News viewers see them they will have a revelation, drop to their knees and shout:

"Hallelujah! God has lifted the scabs of bitter delusion from my eyes, and NOW I CAN SEE!"

(Speaking of Fox, how anyone could be stupid enough to put up something like this is beyond me.  Doesn't this person know that everything on the Internet is recorded – by the NSA, as much a part of the government as Fox News – and that they can track you right to your front door?)

And I'll have to make up with the editors here (by changing the title of this entry for one thing, to something like I Love You, You Contagious Thing, You!!) so they don't carry a grudge and make me sit all alone at the award ceremony.  (Or maybe I could offer them a cut of the $2500?...  Just kidding!  I'm sure that's in the rules too.)

Anyway, in my first attempt to make this more entertaining, I found the following tiny animated picture on the internet (I notice popular entries have something moving).  It's supposed to blink at the ideal "brain training" frequency, and embedded in it is the key to ultimate knowledge, serenity, and good skin.  Enjoy...

(If it's not blinking, while you wait for it to start, enjoy this...)